Post by Monique Adelina De'Ath on Sept 22, 2021 6:10:47 GMT
Mes amis,
I am a virgin Royal Executioner no more!
After 6 months, half a damned year, 180 days etc etc, His Majesty has sought fit, by His most blessed wisdom, to send a couple of miscreants my way. Ok, so these two were only lowly peasants, none of your high class types, but it's a start!
Not wishing to 'blow one's own trumpet' but I believe that I gave a credible first public performance of my duties, like in every new job there is always likely to be some degree of trial and error so that first fellow, the one who kept wailing and bawling at the injustice of his fate, continually fidgeting and trying to get up, shouting about how he was being murdered by the State simply because he wasn't rich and babbling something about quotas needing to be filled to justify keeping people in a job who already had a more prominent occupation and were simply on the make for more livres! Pah, what a loser and it was clearly his fault that my first blow only removed an ear instead of his head, same for the next 3 strokes, accounting for his nose, left arm and right foot, I mean what could I do he shouldn't have kept wriggling around?! Certainly after his arm came off he seemed to calm down a bit, I remember the appointed Priest, just before he unexpectedly fainted, mentioning to me how he felt the condemned had passed out so that may have had a bit to do with it. Anyway, that was 10 livres well earned on my part as instead of just a head there were those other limbs and bits too plus I think it may have assisted the second execution as the prisoner there threw himself head first off of the execution platform, ranting something about 'Christ, that's not happening to me', and was rendered immediately unconscious thus enabling me to take off his head in just the 3 blows so that was 25% more efficient than the first one! See how I am already perfecting my 'art' after just this first public showing, impressive if I do say so myself!
The only thing I would say I found really disappointing was that rabble of a crowd, some of them should have been on the block too (!) heckling and throwing rotten fruit, and worse, at me, booing and jeering me, me Paris's Premier Independent Physician and ROYAL EXECUTIONER, where was the respect eh?!! As for the shouts of 'get off', 'he's rubbish', 'Oooh, that must have hurt', 'stop, stop the execution, this is a travesty he's hacking the poor man to death', 'death to the Headsman, he's more like a butcher, kill him' etc etc these were totally out of order and I would just like to place on record my thanks, once again, to the Captain of the Paris Guard and his men who, at that point, stepped into form a defensive ring around me and escorted me safely out of the execution square.
Can't wait for the next one(s)!
Bastian Anton De'Ath
Premier Independent Physician to the people of Paris
ROYAL EXECUTIONER
I am a virgin Royal Executioner no more!
After 6 months, half a damned year, 180 days etc etc, His Majesty has sought fit, by His most blessed wisdom, to send a couple of miscreants my way. Ok, so these two were only lowly peasants, none of your high class types, but it's a start!
Not wishing to 'blow one's own trumpet' but I believe that I gave a credible first public performance of my duties, like in every new job there is always likely to be some degree of trial and error so that first fellow, the one who kept wailing and bawling at the injustice of his fate, continually fidgeting and trying to get up, shouting about how he was being murdered by the State simply because he wasn't rich and babbling something about quotas needing to be filled to justify keeping people in a job who already had a more prominent occupation and were simply on the make for more livres! Pah, what a loser and it was clearly his fault that my first blow only removed an ear instead of his head, same for the next 3 strokes, accounting for his nose, left arm and right foot, I mean what could I do he shouldn't have kept wriggling around?! Certainly after his arm came off he seemed to calm down a bit, I remember the appointed Priest, just before he unexpectedly fainted, mentioning to me how he felt the condemned had passed out so that may have had a bit to do with it. Anyway, that was 10 livres well earned on my part as instead of just a head there were those other limbs and bits too plus I think it may have assisted the second execution as the prisoner there threw himself head first off of the execution platform, ranting something about 'Christ, that's not happening to me', and was rendered immediately unconscious thus enabling me to take off his head in just the 3 blows so that was 25% more efficient than the first one! See how I am already perfecting my 'art' after just this first public showing, impressive if I do say so myself!
The only thing I would say I found really disappointing was that rabble of a crowd, some of them should have been on the block too (!) heckling and throwing rotten fruit, and worse, at me, booing and jeering me, me Paris's Premier Independent Physician and ROYAL EXECUTIONER, where was the respect eh?!! As for the shouts of 'get off', 'he's rubbish', 'Oooh, that must have hurt', 'stop, stop the execution, this is a travesty he's hacking the poor man to death', 'death to the Headsman, he's more like a butcher, kill him' etc etc these were totally out of order and I would just like to place on record my thanks, once again, to the Captain of the Paris Guard and his men who, at that point, stepped into form a defensive ring around me and escorted me safely out of the execution square.
Can't wait for the next one(s)!
Bastian Anton De'Ath
Premier Independent Physician to the people of Paris
ROYAL EXECUTIONER