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Post by Good Shepherd on Jun 14, 2020 0:34:41 GMT
In a Field Outside Paris...
First Voice: Well Arnold...(pant)...How are the new boots shaping up?
Second Voice: Fine Father...(pant)...but why are we running...? I thought...(pant)...that the idea was...(pant)...for your dog to do all the work...?
First Voice: We won't be the only ones out in the fields tonight Arnold...(pant)...We don't want to end up with...(pant)...the ugly ones now do we...?
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Post by Bessie the Sheep on Jun 14, 2020 0:36:10 GMT
Field Craft...
First Voice: Baa...Baaa
Second Voice: Did you hear that? Where's it coming from?
Third Voice: Over here, Father. A ewe has its head stuck in a fence.
Second Voice: Ah ! So she has! Pretty little thing, too!...Brace yourself, My Beauty...
First Voice: Baaa...BAAAA!
Second Voice: Oh, you little tease!...That's it...keep wiggling...AAAHHH!
Third Voice: That was quick, Father.
Second Voice: Quite the little minx that one, Arnold! Right, your turn. Drop your britches and get to it man!
Third Voice: Mmm...As you wish, Father...
Second Voice: ....Er...Arnold...? Why have you pushed your head through the fence? It'll get stuck if you're not careful...
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Post by Church Caretaker on Jun 19, 2020 16:46:23 GMT
Bothwells Burblings...
Q: Why did Monsigneur Dieudonné Lachapelle die at sea ?
A: So no-one could dance on his grave...
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Post by Private Ayes on Jun 21, 2020 21:56:48 GMT
From the penny pamphlet, “The True-Life Adventures of Mssr. J.B.”:
The day had been filled with skirmishing lines and counter charges against the Spanish relief force advancing on their beleaguered allies in the Chateau. The Cavalry Brigade fought hard but the Spanish marched inexorably towards their target.
“The Lieutenant Captain’s compliments, Monsieur!” announced the courier from the back of his winded mount, “You are to redeploy your squadron to cover the withdrawal of the citizens of the town of Foix!”
“As he commands!” acknowledge the brave Captain J.B. “Sound to Arms! We ride for Foix”
The Spanish regiment advanced in a ragged line, cannon and musket shot cutting gaps that were filled with a soldier more ragged and dirty than the last.
“Monsieur Le Captain!” shouted a Dragoon sergeant, “The enemy advances on the Abbey of the Sainted Mother!
“Continue to pour fire upon the main body!” Captain J.B. ordered to a lieutenant, “I shall lead a lance to interdict them!”
A charge and flash of sabers quickly dispatched the Spanish skirmishers but the company of enemy infantry continued to advance.
“Gather the children!” shouted Captain J.B. to his dragoons, “The Abbey is lost but we will save the orphans!”
Captain J.B. directed the evacuation of the abbey, then grabbing the sole remain nun, he put spurs to his mount as the Spanish infantry came into range.
“You have my gratitude, Monsieur,” said the nun with tears in her blue eyes, “Were I not given to God, I would be more expressive of my thanks.”
“Your prays to God on my behalf will be more than enough,” replied Captain J.B. with a bow.
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Post by A Tavern Pot-Girl on Jun 22, 2020 13:03:22 GMT
1st Voice: Well met, Henri! Can I interest you in a pot?
2nd Voice: Yes, since Jacques departed with his tail between his legs management of the estates has fallen to me. I never realized what hard work it is.
1st Voice: Speaking of your brother, I read in the Voix de Paris that he is to be knighted for actions against the Spanish.
2nd Voice: I can only imagine that our King was overcome with fever. Jacques a chevalier? It’s ridiculous.
1st Voice: How did your father receive the news?
2nd Voice: He feigned disinterest but I notice that he has been spending a great deal of time investigating heraldic devices. Of course, my mother and sister are all atwitter about Jacques finding and marrying a woman of noble birth.
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Post by Common Chirper on Jun 23, 2020 9:34:39 GMT
First Voice: He what?
Second Voice: He thinks of volunteering his regiment.
First Voice: But it´s not his regiment!
Second Voice: At the moment it is. He is the senior Major in the Languedoc Regiment. And therefore technically he can volunteer to the frontier.
First Voice: But his regiment served the full Summer Campaign at the Lorraine frontier!
Second Voice: He seems to get a kind of affection to this part of the frontier...
First Voice: Oh my goodness...
Second Voice: His men seem to be not too happy about it.
First Voice (sarcastically): I cannot imagine why...
Second Voice: Stop that. They are fighting for our country´s good.
First Voice: They are fighting for the Cardinal. He wants the war against Austria. It´s something about the hierarchy in the Vaticanic Church.
Second Voice: You mean...?
First Voice: Yes, of course. It´s all a ploy by the church.
Second Voice: Anyway, messengers go to the barracks of the Languedoc regiment hither and to. I could get a glimpse on one of the depeches, it was from some gentleman in Paris.
First Voice: You see?
Second Voice: What should I see?
First Voice: Think! They want the Languedoc regiment to volunteer.
Second Voice: But why?
First Voice: I have no clue. And I do not want to know. It may be dangerous to know about it...
Second Voice: You´re probably right. Erm... what do you think about the new play?
First Voice: You mean 'Hold until Relieved'?
Second Voice: Yes. I have heard, that... (more chitterchatter)
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Post by Le Petit Oiseau on Jun 26, 2020 12:33:41 GMT
Voice 1: Mademoiselle, you hardly touched your meal! Are you sick? Shall I call for the Doctor?
Voice 2: Oh, Kitty. I am despondent and there is nothing that the doctors can do for my condition.
Voice 1: A priest, perhaps?
Voice 2: One might be able to intercede with God to help me in my plight…but no, alas. I am put out of sorts by the marriage of Viscomtess Gorne. We meet when I first arrived in Paris and in the time we have know each other, she has secured a noble husband while none have tried to gain my affections.
Voice 1: You must not despair, Mademoiselle. You will find a young man worthy of you.
Voice 2: But when? I am in danger of becoming an old maid. Most of the gentlemen worthy of my station are already taken. And now, Acelina and Dame Emelin are engaged and I shall die an old maid.
Voice 1: Do not weep, Mademoiselle. Perhaps you could go to the theater? The new play “Hold Until Relieved” open soon. You could attend and perhaps catch the eye of a young gentleman there.
Voice 2: Scandalous! It would only confirm my desperate state or worse, I could be mistaken for one of THOSE women!
Voice 1: Then we shall have to…Mademoiselle! A very fancy carriage has stopped outside! And I do believe a young gentleman is stepping out!
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