Post by Monique Adelina De'Ath on Dec 16, 2021 6:42:42 GMT
Lords, Gentlemen and Ladies,
Now, I'd be the first to hold my hands up and say I'm no merchant, the fineries of such a trade are best left to those astute individuals like Monsieur Balls, Durrant etc BUT...BUT....there is a niche in the market my friends, a vital area of need where the people currently have limited access to that most important of commodities....medicine!
Well, fear ye no more, help is at hand in the form of Docteur De'Ath's Medical Emporium!!
Yes, I am proud to be able to offer, at most reasonable prices, an array of tonics, potions, elixirs and creams to both protect and cure the purchaser from a multitude of maladies. Through the special delivery service offered by my team of couriers it couldn't be easier, your order direct to your home! Simply send me your order with the relevant amount of livres and leave the rest to me. Please see below for details on some of the many medicines available, a completer list of which is available on request -
Hoffman's Hair Tonic ( 25 livres a bottle) - For those gentlemen suffering from the ravages of pre-mature balding or, indeed, those who have succumbed in total this daily tonic is the answer to your cries of anguish! Split between half and half measures, 1 half to be swallowed, the other to be applied directly to the scalp.
L'Hopital, pour les Heros (30 livres a phial) - A great one for the military man or a plain civilian fellow needing that temporary boost to help face the foe. Created with that great young French hero, Maurice L'Hopital, in mind a special blend of ingredients have been combined to steady the resolve, inspire the heart and strengthen the arm. Simply place a dab behind each ear, rub some around the chin and splash a little across your chest. Highly recommended!
Balls Balm (20 livres a jar) - Loved by gentlemen and their ladies!! Just apply a liberal smearing of this heightened aphrodisiac cream to the relevant conjugal area, so to speak, give it 30 minutes or so and you'll feel like a new man, like a rampant 19 year old, champing to impress your lady friend through a marathon of love making. No more, rolling over, breaking wind and snoring away within 5 minutes for the lucky fellow who uses this sure fire winner!! You'll be at it for days, send off for your jar right now!
Veil of Vuillermoz (15 livres a block) - One of my more unusual, let's say exotic, concoctions for the individual who wishes to 'blend into the night', 'disappear into the depths' or, just basically, not be noticed, merge in with the crowds, detract away any attention so that no-one remembers you're there, ideal for a number of awkward or tricky situations. It comes in the form of a bar of soap that should be applied across the whole body prior to the required occasion.
Bastian's Bowel Bolsterer (30 livres a bottle) - These are limited for purchase to those poor individuals who are facing the ultimate, be that upon the Executioner's block, bedridden and ticking down those final hours and minutes, or other situations where the inevitable is....inevitable! In those final moments there is little the unfortunate person can do, the control mainly rests with others however there is that one peace of mind they can achieve, saving themselves and their loved ones from the shame of loose bowels! Thanks to me help is at hand and all you need do is swig back a good deep draught of my namesake bowl bolsterer and you can go and meet your maker without a stain uponyour breeches or nightshirt you.
The above are just a few of the great medicines available, if you want any get your orders in now, stocks may be limited, and also ask for my full listing of the many, many in supply.
God bless you all,
Docteur Bastian Anton De'Ath
Premier Physician to the people of Paris
ROYAL EXECUTIONER (2nd term of service - Hurrah!)
Chevalier of France (in waiting)
Now, I'd be the first to hold my hands up and say I'm no merchant, the fineries of such a trade are best left to those astute individuals like Monsieur Balls, Durrant etc BUT...BUT....there is a niche in the market my friends, a vital area of need where the people currently have limited access to that most important of commodities....medicine!
Well, fear ye no more, help is at hand in the form of Docteur De'Ath's Medical Emporium!!
Yes, I am proud to be able to offer, at most reasonable prices, an array of tonics, potions, elixirs and creams to both protect and cure the purchaser from a multitude of maladies. Through the special delivery service offered by my team of couriers it couldn't be easier, your order direct to your home! Simply send me your order with the relevant amount of livres and leave the rest to me. Please see below for details on some of the many medicines available, a completer list of which is available on request -
Hoffman's Hair Tonic ( 25 livres a bottle) - For those gentlemen suffering from the ravages of pre-mature balding or, indeed, those who have succumbed in total this daily tonic is the answer to your cries of anguish! Split between half and half measures, 1 half to be swallowed, the other to be applied directly to the scalp.
L'Hopital, pour les Heros (30 livres a phial) - A great one for the military man or a plain civilian fellow needing that temporary boost to help face the foe. Created with that great young French hero, Maurice L'Hopital, in mind a special blend of ingredients have been combined to steady the resolve, inspire the heart and strengthen the arm. Simply place a dab behind each ear, rub some around the chin and splash a little across your chest. Highly recommended!
Balls Balm (20 livres a jar) - Loved by gentlemen and their ladies!! Just apply a liberal smearing of this heightened aphrodisiac cream to the relevant conjugal area, so to speak, give it 30 minutes or so and you'll feel like a new man, like a rampant 19 year old, champing to impress your lady friend through a marathon of love making. No more, rolling over, breaking wind and snoring away within 5 minutes for the lucky fellow who uses this sure fire winner!! You'll be at it for days, send off for your jar right now!
Veil of Vuillermoz (15 livres a block) - One of my more unusual, let's say exotic, concoctions for the individual who wishes to 'blend into the night', 'disappear into the depths' or, just basically, not be noticed, merge in with the crowds, detract away any attention so that no-one remembers you're there, ideal for a number of awkward or tricky situations. It comes in the form of a bar of soap that should be applied across the whole body prior to the required occasion.
Bastian's Bowel Bolsterer (30 livres a bottle) - These are limited for purchase to those poor individuals who are facing the ultimate, be that upon the Executioner's block, bedridden and ticking down those final hours and minutes, or other situations where the inevitable is....inevitable! In those final moments there is little the unfortunate person can do, the control mainly rests with others however there is that one peace of mind they can achieve, saving themselves and their loved ones from the shame of loose bowels! Thanks to me help is at hand and all you need do is swig back a good deep draught of my namesake bowl bolsterer and you can go and meet your maker without a stain upon
The above are just a few of the great medicines available, if you want any get your orders in now, stocks may be limited, and also ask for my full listing of the many, many in supply.
God bless you all,
Docteur Bastian Anton De'Ath
Premier Physician to the people of Paris
ROYAL EXECUTIONER (2nd term of service - Hurrah!)
Chevalier of France (in waiting)