Bastian Anton De'ath

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

So, it was adieu to Amiens, the city of his birth and away to Paris.

Young Bastian was a studious fellow, excelling at school and opting to now pursue a career in medicine. I mean, Amiens wasn't that bad a place but for a young man out to seek fame and fortune Paris simply had to be the destination. Rumour had it that the City was sadly lacking in physicians so there looked likely to be an opening for him, get himself known, establish a practice, attract a host of patients and maybe, even, get noticed by some wealthy benefactor to whom he could become their personal doctor?

That was his ultimate aim, to become a qualified medical practioner....he could almost see it now....his own premises, with a great big sign outside....Doctor De'ath, yes it definitely had a certain ring about it!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

Well things had been ticking along ok but not to the speed and level which he would have liked! On the plus side he had managed to secure the position of Regimental Docteur within the Aquitaine Regiment, though hardly an inspiring unit but better than nothing, as well as becoming Kings / Royal Executioner! The later post was more in keeping with his desires for self advancement but still only lowly in comparison to others, like that De Bearne rascal, who had managed to get their greedy grasping hands on a number of top jobs and honours.

I mean, he was a genius, a man destined for glory yet it was all taking so long and he'd seen scant in the way of fiscal recompense, no real honours, one measly post of note, he'd a mistress who was a tight as a gnat's chuff when it came to 'putting out', so to speak, even his good friend, a priest, seemed to be acquiring more than he....it was outrageous....a travesty!! Alas, opportunities being limited he would have to persevere as best he could and hope his ultimate aim of securing the exalted post of Commissioner of Public Safety was finally realised.....

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

Dear Mother,

It was with much regret that I received the news of father's death this month, the messenger arrived to tell me of his passing.

I can't believe that father has gone, it's a terrible blow to me as his monthly allowance was most useful in meeting the hefty costs that I face, here in Paris. If only you or one of the family could have contacted me earlier then I may have been able to pay a visit and administer to him personally, kept him going for another year, or at the very least, a few months more. The loss of a 100 livres is a big blow you know, how am I going to be able to make that up? I'm a busy enough man already so this means I'm going to have to take on more cases, hope for more traitors to be brought before me at the executioner's block or take other drastic action to compensate.

Unfortunately I won't be able to attend the funeral, what with there being an important opera taking place next month, plus a very prestigious patient has approached me, an Archduke, no less (!), to treat him for a very personal ailment and I've also an absolute beauty here to court. I'll ensure I send some flowers but that's really the best I can do at this present time.

Now, life must carry on mother so I trust you and my brothers will recognise such fact, no use languishing in misery, blubbing and wailing while spending months dressed in black and mourning as I'm sure father wouldn't have wanted that he'd wish for us to be strong at such a time and for us all to forge ahead. Of course, it's alright for him to have had such a wish but he must have known there are costs, yes costs, mother that lay ahead of us so I must ask did father leave a will? There must be some livres payable to those of us that live on, an inheritance? Do you know any details, how much did he leave me?

Please give the details to the messenger I send with this letter and flowers and as soon as I have the details I'll be over for a visit to collect the monies. Rest assured though I'll be holding my own personal wake for father at my club where I intend to get absolutely plastered in order to put this sorry episode behind me and continue with my advancement within Parisian society which, I feel, will be suitable tribute to him.

Your 3rd son,

Bastian

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

The Diary of Docteur De'Ath

31st May 1634

Success, ha ha, finally a woman who looks a real stunner and hopefully is somewhat more open with her affections than that last lunatic I dated! What's more her father is a Comte.....just think of it a real Comte!! Well done to you Bastian, it's all starting to fall into place and true fame and glory are looming. Once I'm safely ensconced with the Chauberts I can wangle that father of her's into loaning me a big heap of cash, I'll do it under the pretense of it being for my medical business, and then I can get myself a better home somewhere more up market along with a couple of racehorses and some new outfits.

I must also start looking at the securing of a proper government appointment, I've just about had it with case after case of bad guts and exploding arses I mean what sort of profession is that for me?! Ok, now I might just be able to add the arse of His Majesty, come to think of it Her Majesty as well, though not so sure about that dandified son of theirs, as Royal Physician has certain advantages to it BUT I crave more, a man of my genius and talents surely is entitled to the highest office possible.....the one that de Bearne currently has his grubby paws upon.....yes, I can see it now....Lord De'Ath, Minister of State!! Oh, how simply splendid and long overdue but, sadly, there's still a way to go yet before it's mine.

So, Phase 1 is complete and I can tick off the following - 1. Beautiful mistress 2. Titled in-laws 3. Established & leading Physician 4. Huge & top quality 2-H sword (just in case of those duels) 5. First rung on the nobility ladder

Excellent, Bastian, excellent....now it's on to Phase 2!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

Hmmmh.....there's something about this weasely protestant priest Montgomery.....something not quite right, just can't put my finger on it yet but I'm going to get the better of the swine or my name's not Bastian which, of course, it is!

The rest of Paris seems oblivious and some of the fools are even fraternizing with him and the good lord only knows what has become of Hoffman, he must have lost his mind or been somehow bewitched to have joined the heretic's flock! It's hopeless trying to enlist support from any of the supposed Parisian elite, I could have perhaps relied upon Maurice but he's headed off on family business so I reckon it's just down to me to get rid of him. Now I've still got my great big 2-H sword but you can't duel a priest, apparently, even a heretic one! Hmmmh....ponder....there is that gang of heavies down by the docks, could get them to have a chance 'encounter' with our friend Ymbert...yes, allow him to see how dangerous Paris can be and how much safer he'd be taking his distorted preachings elsewhere, England maybe!

Right, guess I'd better pop along to have a quiet word with Pierre 'Le Pummeller' & his lads, slip 'em a few livres with a promise of a nice bonus if they can get the beating to that much vaunted 'within an inch of his life' bit. Then once they've sorted him out I think a certain peasant wench should be next on the list for a visit!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

It was outrageous, how dare they arrest me! Damn swine of a CPS, it should have been that lousy priest who is facing a trial.

Blast, what a hole to be in (literally) and how can I get myself out of this scrape? All because I just happened to make a few deaths threats or calls for people to bump off Impbert! Does no-one have any sense of humour left anymore, doesn't anyone see this for the joke it was....I mean, it's not if I was being serious or anything....just a bit of light hearted banter and jest.

Right, now think Bastian...think....hmmmh...well I've got those 2 fancy patrons that I'm the family docteur for and then good old Jacques Bougiedure has always been good to me...there's my dear friend Auguste too, a man who has certainly risen up the ranks lately....plus those two sweet ladies Dame Valerie and Madame Heloise...musn't forget Hans either...yes, they'll all surely speak up for me!

All I need do now is get de Bearne onside, convince him to speak up for me and then to make me the next CPS. Naturally the first arrest warrant I'll be having drawn up will be for a certain ex CPS!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

A THOUSAND livres.....a bloody THOUSAND livres!! It's a damned outrage and affront to decent people everywhere, someone must have got to that senile old fool of a judge and bunged him a bag full of cash to sit there and come out with a guilty verdict.....but the question is WHO??

Who has something against me? What b'stard flies in the face of public opinion and dislikes me, the peoples champion? It's got to be jealousy, there's a twisted individual out there who's seen how popular I am, seen my mixing with Arch Dukes, Grand Dukes, heard of my medical brilliance and turned green with envy over my appointment as Director of the Lottery. A miserable rogue who wants what I've got and has focused their spite through nefarious means to try and bring me down.

Hmmmh.....now I've a list of names here, for simplicity's sake let's call it a Greasy Pole, all I need do is spend a few hours going through it while applying some logic and the name should leap out at me! Best start from the top I guess.....Lord Bougiedure...nah, couldn't be him he's always been a good, solid sort of fellow, awarded me with a few jobs in the past, wrote a good character reference at the trial....no, not good old Jacques. Who's next....Viscomte de Bearne.....a wonderful man, also said he was convinced of my innocence....surely wouldn't be him, especially what with him getting ready to appoint me as CPS....I can cross his name off the list. Then there's those 3 out of the city on family matters so can't be any of them!

Auguste?? Never, a true friend ever since I first met him. Hmmmh....these names are diminishing rapidly and still no clue....hang on....Hoffman....Hans Hoffman....surely not...mind you he never replied to my smuggled out letter from the Bastille, imploring him for help....it was him that invited that insidious priest Impbert to his party and has been getting all friendly with him and asking to join his church and undertake his wedding.....and I could easily be seen as a rival, more social esteem, more upmarket lodgings, fancy new job and elevated to Chevalier.....god damn it....Hans you snake in the grass, was it really you pulling the strings behind the scenes? Time for me to delve a bit deeper here methinks!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

"God be damned, my future in the hands of de Bearne! Surely the fellow can see the sense in appointing me as Commissioner of Public Safety, far better than that idiot oaf who fined me 1000 livres!! Absolute travesty and once I'm CPS I'll have him arrested and fined double that as well as having his head cut off, the CPS that is not good old Huillaume, splendid fellow.

I wonder how long it takes for the announcement to be made that lets people know I'm the new Commissioner? Seems I've been sat by the window for hours waiting for the courier to arrive with the appointment notice.....Zzzzzzz.....come on...come on...hurry up for heavens sake....ah, wait, hang on who is that coming along the path now....yes, yes I'm sure that's him looks an official type and he has a letter in his hand....hurrah, hurrah at last!!".

Knock, knock....

"Ah, Sieur Bastian De'Ath? I have a letter for you, from Lord de Bearne".

"Marvellous, wonderful you gallant fellow I take it you may be conveying certain appointment news"?

"As it so happens I am".

"Excellent, a certain Commissioner appointment"?

"Yes, Sieur, indeed it is".

"Well, as the bearer of that news I am happy, as my first official duty, to issue you this here note that guarantees you exemption from any future arrest as a valued friend of the Public Safety Ministry".

"Public Safety Ministry.....exemption from arrest....errrr.....what"?

"Yes, as the new Commissioner I now have the power to gift that to you, I am Commissioner after all aren't I"?!

"Ummmh....Commissioner yes but for Public Health....not Public Safety, perhaps the good Sieur has become somewhat confused? The notice I have here clearly reads....I Lord de Bearne....blah blah....Minister of State...etc etc...do hereby appoint Sieur Bastian Anton De'Ath as the new Commissioner for Public Health.....nothing about Public Safety".

"Arrrrgghhh.......de Bearne.....nooooooo....."

"Are you ok Sieur Bastian? You seem to have become a bit flushed and that frothing around your lips....."

"De Bearne, hell take you....arrrghh, CPS...CPS, it had my name on it!! Bloody Commissioner for Public Health, what does that do?? You, courier, does it come with any powers of arrest? I mean can you have someone whisked off to the Bastille and to then face the full force of the law in Court for not keeping their privvy in good order or for not regularly bathing? Where's the power in the post"?

"Ummmh, errr, ummmh....I'm honestly not sure I think you need to ask Lord de Bearne about that and I think it's best I be leaving now, especially what with you kicking down your own front door and all the swearing"!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

Now.....if all goes to plan I should be able to pick up a good few livres from father's legacy. Around 1300 livres which isn't great but better than nowt I guess and helps to fund the outrageous living expenses here in Paris.

Now that His Majesty has seen fit to elevate me to a Baron I seem well on my way to securing future positions BUT it all seems to take so damn long. There's that Huillaume fellow enjoying a whole host of titles and estates while I'm still having to wade my way through the lower ranks of the nobility! Plus he never made me CPS....ok, CPH yes but I really wanted the CPS post so I can first have that swine who arrested me and fined me locked up and then to get to work weeding out the real traitors in Paris.

My next task has to be getting the Bougiedure woman to agree to marriage, thus securing me an established position within the overall Bougiedure family. Actually, to be fair, she's a comely young wench but a bit too hung up on the virtous streak, having to turn up at church each month and chucking in hard earned livres into some over weight priest's pockets. Doh....still a price worth paying in the long run!

Once I've got this Baron title under my belt it's straight onwards for a Viscomte nomination, long over due I might add, and try and get my way into being appointed as daft old Louis's Royal Physician. Lovely, secure the ear of the King and make efforts to look after the medical needs of that inbread family of his while quietly biding my time. One never knows if I could somehow drug the old fool and get him into abdicating but naming me as his successor I'll be laughing! Must remember to go through my alchemy notes again and try and find out which herbs I need to mix that will fog his mind and make him susceptable to my words.....oh yes, Louis you daft old goat Bastain is coming for your crown, it's surely mine anyway and with you out of the way.....ha ha.....glory is mine...power....wealth....women.....revenge!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

Oh, for God's sake, how much more of this dreary church tripe do I have to endure?! Damn woman, won't even agree to a little kiss until "We're married" but can't get enough of a tedious sermon or two....arrrrghhhh!

Still, focus Bastian, focus it's only another month or two and then you can 'pop the question'! Keep buttering her up with the parties, church going, social kudos etc and then...bang....you're in boy! Think of it, a member of the Bougiedure's!! Set up for life, no more money worries, titles falling out of your backside, events, parties, royalty....you're made lad, made, and very nicely too!

Guess I'd better get straight to work, once we're married, on establishing the links even stronger with a brat or two, really strengthen the ties, concentrate on using the new family connections to my advantage and ensure I get my hands upon one of those sweet, juicy Grand Duc titles! Yes, this is the life for me and very soon I can see myself being able to gain that Commissioner of Public Safety job and then...then...the fun begins....ha ha ha!

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

Hurrah....hurrah...oh, deepest joy!! At last, at last BARON and to be adrressed as LORD! So richly deserved but so long in coming, still let's concentrate on the positives here and forget the fact I've not the slightest clue as to where this Ploërmel place is?! Some where up north I think I heard someone say, still it doesn't matter I'm Baron of it now and I must sort out a visit with Brigitte so we can have the locals do all that bowing and curtesying stuff, plenty of grovelling and showing respect.

I'll have to check out if there's any livres to be had out of the area too, I mean I'm giving them the glory of assoication through me so it's only fair I get a little something out of it.

Now I'm also going to have to get myself focused on the 'marriage' business....hmmhh....of course there's this Bougiedure route to better things, she's a bit of a looker to, that's for sure, going to get a few benefits there as well as via the family link...then there's de Bearne but he has no adult daughter, just that small one....I wonder if there's any grounds in finding some top advocate who can argue the legitimacy of a pre-arranged marriage, one that won't actually happen until the nipper comes of age BUT does come with the recognition that it's sort of a done deal and I can be considered one of the de Bearne's.....but then who do I choose....Bougiedure or de Bearne family?

Both of these make financial / career sense but if only life were that easy, if only the Almighty had not imbided his healthy male folk with virility, tempting us with a whole host of those feisty young fillies that surround us. Out of all those there is one who stands out from the masses, one special, intriguing, angel of loveliness.....a total darling who displays both beauty and brains.....sigh....swoon...the heavenly Heloise.....oh, my darling if only you knew of my deppest affection and desire...oh, if only you knew....and that recent letter she wrote to me....all that talk of the Manzini Scissors....phwoooaarrrr, huff puff....wheeze.....the saucy young minx...

I must have her, if not for a wife at least for a mistress. She's bound to understand I have a public profile to maintain and what with the Bougiedure connections there has to be a certain amount of 'discretion' involved but nothing we can't resolve.

[Monique Adelina De'Ath]

"And exactly how much longer do you propose to keep me imprisoned here Captain"?

"I am instructed to tell you my Lord, that you are to remain here until the beginning of next month when you will be returned to Paris to face a trial".

"Trial.....trial for what?! This is outrageous Captain, I've been set up by traitors to the Crown, I'm the Commissioner of Public Safety and so it is I who should be protecting His Majesty and the Country, not shut away in this hole"! I've written your name down Captain, in my book here, and the name of your sergeant. I'll be keeping these safe and just as soon as I'm out of here I'll be coming back for you both, then you'll see what happens to fools who dare to oppose Lord De'Ath"!

"Well, that's as may be my Lord but I still have my orders".

"I've got 'friends' you know Captain, friends who aren't happy I'm here, friends who may just decide they're going to do something about the injustice....just mentioning it...don't want to hear you saying in future I didn't warn you......".