November 1631

[Private Ayes]

From the penny pamphlet, “The True-Life Adventures of Mssr. J.B.”:


The Royal Ball was all aglitter with candles and crystal and Mssr. J.B. was charming the court with his witty repartee.


A deputy commissar from the Department of Public Safety came up beside Mssr. J.B. “Noble Sieur,” he pleaded, “We must detain the Spanish envoy but I fear causing a Commotion that will disgrace the King!”


“Worry not!” Mssr J.B. exclaimed, “I shall provide a Notable Distraction!”


As the musicians began to play, Mssr. J.B. stepped alongside his beautiful companion. When the dance brought them close, he said to her, “Forgive me, my love.”


During a complex foot routine, Mssr. J.B. allowed his feet to become entangled and fell flat on the dance floor.


“An unfortunate step, my young friend,” Count de la Bombast declared.


Mssr, J.B. noticed the deputy commissar quietly abducting the Spanish envoy without anyone else noticing. Mssr. J.B. smiled to himself.

[Contemporary Witness]

First Voice: Did you hear about the accusations against the Baron de Béarne?

Second Voice: Oh yes. This Claude D´Applaud seems to have lost his mind!

First Voice: Why? He disclosed the whole situation only. You shouldn´t shoot the messenger...

Second Voice: Really? Why did he in the first place disclose it? And that at this crucial time, the same he is marrying the Dame Belya and only weeks before the Director of Lottery is to be appointed again.

First Voice: For sure he didn´t intend anything to dishonor the Baron de Béarne!

Second Voice: But why to spread a rumour like that?

First Voice: He didn´t! He just told, what he had heard of...

Second Voice: Exactly. How would you call that?

First Voice, sounding puzzled: Erm... maybe he expressed himself inartfully?

Second Voice, laughing: Oh no... that was on purpose.

First Voice: But why?

Second Voice: That should be clear enough!

First Voice: I don´t have a clue...

Second Voice: He demands to know, who has won in the lottery, right?

First Voice: Yes. And rightly so!

Second Voice: If you would win in the lottery, would you announce it in the Penny Pamphlet, so that every burglar knows, where to obtain lots of gold?

First Voice: Of course not!

Second Voice: Neither would I.

First Voice: So this Claude wants to rob the winners of the lottery? isn´t that a trifle obvious?

Second Voice, disbelieving: Goodness... of course not. I guess he has bought some lottery tickets and never seen any prize yet.

First Voice: Oh dear, you might be right. Now he demands to disclose the winners...

Second Voice: You see?

First Voice: If he didn´t win up to now, that´s called bad luck!

Second Voice: You know that, I know that. I would never think of buying some lottery tickets...

First Voice: Me neither.

Second Voice: By the way, did I tell you about the latest news of... (Voices fade out)

[Bothwell's member]

1^st voice: have you heard the rumors about the state lottery and his director, le Baron Lagarde?

2^nd voice: I have. Do you give them some credit? Frankly, Mr d'Apalud should not divulgate them if he has no proof

3^rd voice: but you know the Baron, Why doesn’t he say anything about them?

2^nd voice: the only comment I’ve heard from him is a Spanish proverb: “a palabras necias oídos sordos” (to fool words, deaf ears). He does not find them even worth answering.

1^st voice: but there’s some truth about his train of life… I mean, he wears good outfits, et. Where does he obtain the money? He comes from an impoverished family.

2^nd voice: ask his mare about it. He earned a good amount in the Steeplerace… And In the Derby he also obtained a good sum, I heard… Fact is that the Lottery is accounted by the Controller General of Finances, and since the Baron is Director, not a single Livre has been missed. Do those rumors also point at him, be for incompetence or corruption?

3^rd voice: and his state keeps mortgaged. I don’t believe he will keep so if he has as much money as rumors say…

1^st voice: but do you know any Lottery winner? Mr. d’Aplaud is right on it: nobody seems to know any…

2^nd voice: Neither do I know any thief or assassin, and that does not mean they don't exist. Mr d'Apalud should shut up, unless he has any proof. He should leave gossip for old maids, instead of spreading evil intended rumors.

3^rd voice: garçon! another round of beers here, please!

[Mary]

Heard in the Lady slippery:



Woman: so, monsieur, do you want to give a party for 8 guests?



Customer: yes, Madame. Godness fortune blessed me with the Lottery prize, and that must be celebrated Comme il faut.



And they say there are no winners... - the woman thought